I work with youth, and one of the trends I have been noticing as of late is the tendency to be completely immersed in one’s phone. The more I look around, the more I realize that this isn’t something that is unique only to adolescents and teens. In fact many adults are guilty of the same compulsions. I too, have noticed that I spend more time fulfilling the need to look at my phone screen than I would like.

It’s time to re-enter the real world people. It’s time to actually LIVE, instead of posting pictures of it so that our friends think we lead interesting lives. It’s time to raise our heads, look around, and have an actual conversation.

It’s easier said than done. But let’s give it a go, before we realize that we’ve posted and status-updated our lives away.

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I think we all know one or two of these girls. The exceptionally beautiful. The ridiculously gorgeous eye candy. The complete bombshell. And wherever these women are, there are boys. Drooling. Salivating. Tripping over each other as they struggle to stand out from the others. Making complete and utter [donkeys] of themselves vying for the attention of just one exceedingly attractive woman.

You probably know a few girls who fall into this insanely-beautiful category. I certainly do. (Obviously.) I’m sure you have a couple of them among your social media friends. You’ve no doubt seen the absolutely ridiculous amount of attention they receive. It usually goes something like this:

Sadly, it’s true. We all really do want to see that photo. It’s just a shame that she’s aware of it.

No less than 5 seconds later, the photos will have been “liked” by no less than 37 “friends,” all of which are male.

Within 10 seconds, the first “comment” will appear. It will come from a guy who may or may not be shirtless in his profile picture. The comment will say (and I quote):

Within half a minute there will be no less than 10-15 comments. All of which are derivative of pretty much the same previously mentioned comment.

With every additional minute of time, the number of similar comments increases exponentially.

In addition to these, there will also be several attempts at flattery. These poor souls have it in their head that if they type just the right comment and place it into the roaring stream of testosterone, the hot girl will undoubtedly read it among so many others and be absolutely love-stricken with the “originality” of said comment that she will surely cease contact with all over her other 1,728 “friends” and run away to Vegas with this one man: social media pick-up artist commentator extraordinaire. Perhaps hoping to elevate their comments from a simple exclamation, these pick-up artists craft deep and profound words of eloquence in the hopes of separating them from the others.

By the 5 minute mark you will notice comments from no less than 3 desperate men, all of which are taking this moment of time to profess their undying love and affection, and are pleading for our subject to call them.

Immediately following this, you will notice the lone and singular female voice among our commentators. Hoping to grasp just a fraction of the attention of so many ignorant men, and perhaps to prove to everyone that she is relevant and knows popular people, this girl will post any one of the following:

Her plan will fail, and none of the men will “friend” her.

Interestingly enough, you might observe that many of the aforementioned commentators don’t even live within a 400-mile radius of our hot girl. One might wonder why she has so many “friends” that she has no actual connection to. But that’s a topic for another post…

All of it is embarrassing. Really. I am embarrassed for you. So many of you, making fools of yourself publicly as you desperately seek the attention of one girl. A girl who seem to be enjoying every minute of it, and for whom I am also embarrassed. Please. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t be these people. Don’t be a jackaninny.

The comments will continue for an hour or so, at which point the girl will post a new status update, and the cycle will repeat itself from the beginning. Indefinitely. Forever. After all, 1,729 friends is a lot of attention to manage.

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‘Fess up. You’re all a bunch of stalkers. You know it, and I know it. You’re not fooling anybody. You’re sitting there at your little desk, clicking around on all those social networking sites. You’re smiling to yourself because that popular girl from your youth is totally overweight now. Or maybe your ex looks like death incarnate. Or maybe you’re checking out that friend of a friend that you’d sure like to “run into” one of these days. You know the one I’m talking about…the one that you used to stalk on Myspace before there was a Facebook…

Sometimes I wish we all lived in the 1800′s. In the days where the only way you met people or communicated with anyone was if you actually left the house. The days when a guy would walk up to a girl and ask her if he could call on her. And of course the girl would say yes, because we’re all totally polite in the 1800′s.

But if there was no Facebook or internet in the 1800′s, how did people stalk people?? You know they must have had some other methods because those 1800′s people were expert when it came to gossiping. Perhaps if a young woman saw a guy that grabbed her fancy she went outside at opportune moments to churn butter or something. Or maybe the young lads kept going to neighboring villages to dig wells, hoping to catch a glimpse of that sassy farmer’s daughter.

Yeah, that makes sense. I’m sure they stalked somehow. Still, it must’ve been difficult without tagged photos…

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Raccoon Toons is indeed on facebook! There’s a link to your right. Click it. Become one with it. You know you want to.

It is labeled under the old website name “www.mattandmichael.com” so don’t be confused when you get there. I would change it, but facebook won’t let me because facebook is lame like that. Lame.

Either way. Be a fan. Do it. Do it now.

Thanks for the support!

The post Be A Fan appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Did you know that we have a totally awesome facebook fan page?!?! How sweet is that?? You should head over there right now and become a fan! It’s a great way to get the latest updates on the site. So what are you waiting for?? Like us. We like you.

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