So, I have a confession to make: It always takes me a little bit longer than the average person to get into the Olympics. I’m just never all that excited about it. I mean sure, I’m all for global peace and building relations and all that jazz, but sometimes it’s just hard for me to get excited about the actual games themselves.

And some of these events are just kind of silly. I mean really. “Race Walking?” Really? I see how it is. We get a bunch of people who can’t run fast and we feel bad for them so we make an event especially made for walking. We don’t want to hurt the slow people’s feelings. Because that’s how politically correct we’ve become. Stupid.

10 Meter pistol and rifle shooting. Wait. Ok, c’mon. First of all, shooting isn’t an athletic event. It’s a skill. A very impressive skill at times, but still not an athletic event. The most “athletic” thing a shooter does is hold the gun and pull the trigger. So I have to wonder why it’s even in there. Heck, we might as well start playing video games in the Olympics. Except then we might as well just hand the gold medal to South Korea. But that’s not even the point. I’m sure these shooters are all very skilled. It’s the freaking Olympics after all. So why is this event only 10 meters?! 10 lousy meters?! Who COULDN’T hit a target from 10 measly meters?!?  Heck, I could SPIT 10 meters!! Hey now that’s an idea! Now THERE’S an Olympic event! That would be way more fun to watch than the race walking.

I guess the Olympics aren’t really that bad. I’m probably just irritated because the summer games conflict with America’s national pastime. But that’s ok. I can always watch baseball in the Olympics!

Wait…WHAT?!?!?!

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I deserve a gold medal. Just because.

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Gotta love that Tonya Harding.

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