Candy! Candy! Let’s buy candy!!

And by “let’s” I really mean, “you.”

And by “buy” I really mean “send me.”

Ready go.

The post Let’s Buy Candy appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

For the month of March, Raccoon Toons will be updated FOUR days a week! Yes!! So be sure to check back frequently to get your fix of cartoon raccoons. Because raccoons + cartoons = awesome!”

Our “WWTBIACS?” contest is well under way! Do you want to be featured in an upcoming comic strip?? Stupid question. Of course you do. Enter our contest today and you could be our next winner!

To enter:

1.Like, follow, or subscribe.

2. Share your favorite.

3. Tell me you shared.

4. Eat a cookie.

SUPER easy. You could be our next winner! Official rules here. Good luck to you all.

The post Don’t Be Ridiculous appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

I don’t understand the obsession. The passion. The waiting in line. The cult-like devotion. Those crazy Apple fanboys… You annoy the crud out of me.

Brand fanaticism has reached such a level in which the loyalty is so intense, that it’s reached a point of religious fervor.

-knock knock-

“Yes?”

“Hi! Hello! We’re here in the neighborhood and we’d like to share with you a special message about—”

“Oh…hey guys I—”

“about how Apple products can change your life and bring you happiness and salvation.”

“Wait…I thought… What?”

“We’d like to share this special message with you, and tell you more about ‘The Way.’ May we come in?”

“I’m…confused.”

“We understand. In today’s world there are so many brands to believe in. It can be difficult to find out which is the one true computer company. Have you ever felt this way?”

“I’m sorry. I’m still confused. Are you here to sell me something?”

“Oh no. Our message is free. If however you care to purchase one of our products, that will require a lifetime of commitment, increasing loyalty, and some type of pension plan.”

“Right…”

“I see you have an iPhone there! That’s good! How does it make you feel when you’re using it? I bet you like browsing our App Store!”

“Yeah… Actually I’m not as happy with it lately. The new operating system has really slowed it down. It crashes regularly. I can’t even use the Maps function anymore.”

“Did you jailbreak your phone sir?”

“Well yes but—”

“Jailbreaking is a sin, and has consequences. But don’t worry. That’s why we’ve come to share with you a message about repentance and salvation. May we come inside and share with you some pamphlets about our new iPhone 5?”

“I don’t really think—”

“Different. You just need to think different. Have you ever thought about where you’re going? What happens to you after that blue screen of death? It doesn’t have to be like that. The Way can help you just like it helped us.”

“Why are you showing me a picture of Steve Jobs?”

“Most people believe in a supreme being, even though we may call him by different names.”

“Get off my porch.”

The post Fanboy appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Yes, I am an artist. Yes, I live in Silicon Valley only minutes away from Cupertino, CA. No. I do not use a Mac…I didn’t drink the Kool-aid.

I realize there are a fair amount of my readers who live and breath by their Apple computers. I realize that Apple users can sometimes be a little more…sensitive about their brand loyalty. I’m not writing these things to alienate you. Truthfully. I just…don’t get it.

I don’t understand what’s so amazing about Apple computers. They aren’t as fast as my computer. I can’t swap out parts in them. There are so many programs that won’t run on them. You can’t watch the cartoons on THIS very website when using their smaller devices (and that REALLY ticks me off). I can’t play my really old DOS version of Eco Quest on them.

And don’t give me that same old line about “how much easier they are to use.” My mother STILL calls me every week because she can’t figure out how to read her email on her Mac. She still likes it though. “It looks so pretty.” It had better. It’s only used for email, and it cost twice as much as the computer I built myself.

Things are closed. Too many decisions are made for you. They say “think different” but they really mean “think like us.”

Look, I really don’t have any super brand loyalty one way or another (except when it comes to things that really matter, like baseball). I believe in purchasing the best product to suit one’s needs.

So given the choice between:

A.) a computer that does most daily tasks, but won’t open my older files and programs,

and

B.) a computer that will do all my daily tasks, will open my older files and programs, provide faster video rendering times, allow me to upgrade parts as I see fit,  isn’t afraid of Bluray, AND costs substantially less…

I’m going to choose the latter. It meets my computer needs. Don’t hate me for it.

The post Think Different? appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

My brother and I are always very proud of the fact that we can do our Christmas shopping at lightning speeds. We succeed where others fail. What’s that you say? Christmas Eve? You haven’t even set foot in a store? It’s the last moment and the pressure is on? Not a problem. This is our specialty. This is where we are vikings. Christmas shopping vikings.

We’ll race to the store at the frenzied pace that only experienced last minute speed shoppers can handle. With the utmost dexterity we maneuver through the aisles like a motorcyclist through rush hour traffic. With laser like precision our steely gaze sweeps over the store ready to make split-second decisions. What’s this?? A Mr. Potato Head with Optimus Prime features?? Boom. Done. What’s that?? An Alyssa Milano movie that went straight to DVD?? Affirmative. Pull the trigger. Don’t think twice.

We proceed in this fashion, moving at a rabid pace until we make our way through the express line and back home again, having returned victorious, in our plunder.

Also, I have no idea where I came up with the idea for an Al Roker lawn gnome, but c’mon…tell me that wouldn’t be totally sweet!

The post Christmas Shopping appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

For the month of October I will be updating the comic strips SIX days a week! That means you’ll have a new comic strip every Monday-Saturday! If you like the comic strips and enjoy reading them on a daily basis I would encourage you to make a donation to the website in addition to visiting the site frequently. Believe it or not, it really helps!

The post Girls Love Getting Packages appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

It’s Monday! Wait…it’s Monday?!?! That’s right, for the month of October I will be updating the comic strips SIX days a week! That means you’ll have a new comic strip every Monday-Saturday! That’s a lot more than just on Wednesdays! So enjoy and check back daily for new comic strips! If you like the comic strips and enjoy reading them on a daily basis I would encourage you to make a donation to the website in addition to visiting the site frequently. Believe it or not, it really helps!

Today starts a new story arc. So enjoy all the comicky goodness this month, and thanks for reading!

The post Online Shopping appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

12/17/2008 – Just two more tests to go! I can’t wait to get home to CA. It’s been SO cold here. ETA: 60 hours.

The post Presents appeared first on Raccoon Toons.