Apparently there’s more to life than sitting on the couch.

Who knew??

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The struggle is real.

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Thank goodness Summer is finally here!! I can’t wait to sit around and do nothing!!

Right after I finish jury duty. And teach summer school. And work evenings. And take three online classes…

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Busy busy!! I have been SO busy!! I basically had no weekend. I worked longer on Friday and then did a video shoot on Saturday. Somehow I managed to babysit my niece and nephews on Sunday. And then this week I’ve been working a big job with a bunch of Mexican CEOs. Because I love that sweet Mexican dineros.

Anyways, I tried to hurry and still get something up for Wednesday. I would think next week we would get back to normal. Of course, post season baseball will be starting, so I’m not making any promises…

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Freeloader. Slacker. Mooch. Sponge. Locust. Bottom feeder. Bum. We all know one of these people. The guy who never brings anything to the table. The guy in the group who expects you to do all the work and then share in the credit. The guy who is always short a couple bucks. The guy who shows up and asks what’s for dinner. The roommate who eats all your leftover pizza when he thinks you’re all done with it. (Actually…I might be that roommate…)

We all know one of these people. Heck, at varying times in our lives (I’m looking at you college years) we’ve probably BEEN one of these people. But there comes a time in everyone’s life when you just can’t allow this behavior anymore. You need to speak your mind. You need to think of yourself. You have to stand up tall and proud and say:

“Dude. You need to start wearing your own underwear.”

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There’s just so much to do! I have all these ingenious little creative projects I want to work on. But people keep wanting my money. What’s up with that?? And so to appease them, I give them my money. Except then I don’t have any money. And money buys food and milk. And I like to eat food and drink milk. Sometimes. Once in a while.

So I have to go out and make more money. Except people aren’t as eager to give me money as they are to take it from me. What’s up with that?? So I have to work really hard and on lots of different things to make money. Milk money. And that takes my time. So much time. And then I don’t have the time to work on the cool awesome creative projects. And then the cycle repeats itself. Over and over. Viciously repeating. Kind of like episodes of “2 and a Half Men.” You beg and plead for the cycle to end but it just keeps going and going. Torturing your very soul. Which is really too bad. Because you really want to see my cool awesome creative projects. Because they’re cool. And awesome. They’re cool awesome.

Hang in there team. We’ll get there.

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Creating this one was a walk down memory lane.

Now, I have a TOTALLY good reason for reusing panels this week. You see, there was this work thing…and then there was this other work thing…and then there was this baseball game, which was actually a doubleheader…and then…there was yet another work thing…well, you get the idea.

See?? Totally reasonable. If I was a rich and wealthy cartoonist whose adoring fans paid him for his creativity on a salary-like basis, then obviously we wouldn’t need to be reusing panels now would we? WOULD WE?!?

Yeah. So think about THAT.

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I’ve never written a fake note from my doctor to get out of work before. But once upon a time I was known to…”avoid” going to school on some days. Especially on my birthday. As a youth I always made it a point to skip school on my birthday. I figured it was the best present I could give myself. I figured I deserved a day off. I figured anything really, to avoid another day of mind numbing boredom.

My days off were always highly enjoyable. Unless of course you, the person reading this, happen to be under the age of 18. In which case, it was not enjoyable at all. You shouldn’t ever skip school. In fact, I pity the fool who doesn’t stay in school. I could never condone such school skipping behavior… -cough-

I always prepared for my days of school cutting by preparing myself emotionally. I tried to channel Ferris Bueller and Parker Lewis into my soul. I would create lists of things that I would be doing on my day of absence. I notified my teachers ahead of time that I would not be in school on that particular day and would have to take my English midterm at another point in time. I simply explained that I would be on vacation for that particular day. They always complied with my request. Yup. Some of those student-teacher English teachers weren’t all that bright.

Once a particular vice principal carelessly left some summons slips lying around his office. He was also careless enough to leave his signature stamp and ink pad lying around as well. That’s pretty careless. I mean really. What was I supposed to do?? I swear some of these teachers make these sorts of things all too easy. Naturally I had no choice but to tear off a few summons slips and take the liberty of stamping them with his signature. I kept them hidden away for a rainy day. Bona fide get-out-of-class cards. All I had to do was have a friend deliver them to my classroom at the beginning of the period to “summon” me away and I’d be out of there just after roll call. Trigonometry just got a whole lot easier to deal with.

Say what you will about my young adolescent school habits. But you have to admit, I certainly learned something.

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Every week I sit here and do my little comic strip. I have a nice little schedule I keep. I typically create the comic strips on Mondays, and then write these snarky little blog posts on Tuesdays. Then they get posted every Wednesday at 12:29 am (y’know because you’ll do fine with twenty-nine).

Some months I lose all sanity and go on a comic publishing frenzy. Like in January I did comic strips and posts 5 days a week. It was intense. A frenzy of epic proportions. Last October I did comic strips 6 days a week. That was also intense. But I like doing it. I hope they are of some entertainment value to some of you. I wish I could do them more.

Unfortunately just like in today’s comic strip I have these annoying little people who always want me to pay bills. They always want my money. They keep coming back month after month. Truly relentless. But hey, that’s alright, because I have a fancy college degree! Surely my fancy college degree which I spent tens of thousands of dollars on will help be garner that high paying salary job that will enable me to silence those annoying bills…right?? Right?!?!

So my college degree is doing its part to help pay the bills (-cough-). Michael and the rest of my raccoon cartoons are doing their part as well. It’s not much, but they do help a little…sometimes…when they aren’t too busy eating pizza and drinking Yoo-hoos. Mmmm….Yoo-hoo…

But wouldn’t it be nice if I could entertain you on a more regular basis? Just think… If my cartoons generated a more reliable income I could afford to devote more time for comic strip making and snarky post writing! You could grace the pages of my website not once a week, but three times! Maybe four! Or…dare I say it?? FIVE! How sweet would that be?!

The increased updates would cause increased traffic to my site, which would in turn would cause increased advertising revenue. Then I could afford to advertise for the site more, which would lead to more and more traffic, would would lead to more and more revenue, would would lead to more and more updates, which would lead to COMPLETE ULTIMATE POWER OVER THE INTERNETS.

Ok. Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Maybe. But you get my point.

Which is why I’m tactfully persuading you, my readers, to help support the cartoon goodness.

Interesting fact: If everyone who visited my website were to donate a dollar over the course of a year, I could make this my full time job. Unrealistic? You betcha.

How about this: If just one third of the people who visit this site regularly were to donate a dollar a month, I could make this my full time job. Unlikely? Probably. But it’s still kind of cool when you think about it.

So I encourage you to ponder what to do with that extra dollar lying around your house. If you like the comic strips, or the snarky blog posts, or the animated cartoons, and would like to see more of them more regularly, you might consider investing that dollar in a certain raccoon themed website. I promise I’ll always keep the updates coming, as long as I am able and can afford to. And if you are feeling lucky, you can always make that donation in the form of a ticket purchase in our Sell-out raffle.

Thank you for your support. Here are some unicorns.

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