Many years ago I had this really bright idea that I could somehow make a career out of drawing cartoons. It was such a bright idea I told myself, that I should create a website as a means of showcasing that endeavor and begin the process of raking in all those millions of dollars waiting to be thrown at me with reckless abandon.

I’m such a clever guy.

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I swear I have nightmares like this. Waking up screaming and drenched in a cold sweat nightmares. Nightmares just like this.

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Recently I have been re-watching one of my favorite TV shows from my youth. The show is Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman and it’s still one of the coolest things ever to come out of the 90′s. Shut-up. The 90′s were awesome. They’re still awesome. Leave me alone.

During the time the show was on the air, some significant changes were made to the series. I was curious why some of these changes were made and did a little research. What I found was all too typical.

Between the first and second season, the show runner was fired, because the network was worried about ratings. They let go one of the main actors (who would later star in a movie that I totally worked on) and replaced him with someone young looking, because they were concerned about getting ratings for young teenage girls. Because let’s be honest, the world’s economy revolves around teenage girls.

Immediately following these changes, the show’s ratings dropped dramatically. It wasn’t until the show returned to it’s original format that ratings improved.

The networks were of course, convinced that it was they who in fact had redeemed the show from the ashes. They decided to continue meddling trying to grasp those elusive ratings in the 8pm-9pm time slot.

First there would be a wedding. Then there wouldn’t be a wedding. Then the wedding was on. Then it wasn’t.

Viewers got annoyed. So much so that they started turning off their televisions (the faithful like myself remained).

And THIS people, is what happens when you let non-creative people take control of the creative process.

The network executives couldn’t figure it out. They had crunched so many numbers and appealed to so many demographics!

In the end, none of that mattered though. Because when none of the networks wanted to air the new Wonderful World of Disney reboot, Michael Eisner (CEO of Disney at the time) went out and bought ABC and cancelled Lois and Clark personally so that he could use the 8pm-9pm Sunday night time slot. You know, because network executives know better.

Thanks a lot Eisner. Way to wrap up a series and make the viewers happy.

Thank the heavens we now live in the days of the internet. In which content producers can create and publish directly over the web. Your days are numbered network executives. And your disservice to our favorite shows is at its end.

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Why?!?!? Why do these great injustices keep happening in the world?!? I don’t think I can take it anymore!!

The post So Emotional appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

We spend a lot of time talking about and comparing ourselves to others. The people on the movie screen or in the magazines look so much better than we ever could hope to look. But here’s the thing: You see, those people have literally hundreds of people whose JOB it is to make them look amazing. And then there’s a whole bunch of other people who make the light just perfect so as to be most flattering. And they have professional camera people who know how to frame shots and shoot with the right lenses to make everyone look good. And then there’s a bunch of OTHER people who’s job it is to edit the images afterwards and make them look even better than would normally be possible for them.

My point is, no one looks as good as they do on a movie screen or a magazine cover. No one. And everyone can look amazing. Everyone.

The post Good Lighting appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Sometimes I wish life was a movie. Think about it. I could get my copy of the screenplay and play my part accordingly. It would make acting the part of my character so much easier. I wouldn’t have to fear social situations or have any anxieties in life because I’m acting. It’s easy to be the super cool successful guy when someone writes the part for you. Plus I know that everything will work out because I’m the main guy in the story. Things are supposed to work out for me. And everyone knows the main guy always has a happy ending in his movie.

Wait…but what if I’m not the main guy?? What if I’m the plucky sidekick or the comedy relief…or…what if I’m just a bit part on some background shot?!?!?!

I need to have a serious discussion with the writers.

The post Play The Part appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Makeup! I should write something here about makeup.

…

I got nothing.

Sorry. I’ll do better next week.

The post Makeup appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Suck in that gut gentlemen. We aren’t as young as we used to be.

The post 30 inch Waist appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.

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I think location is important. But mostly I believe it’s not where you are, but who you’re with that really makes the difference.

The post Location Location Location appeared first on Raccoon Toons.