Recently I have been re-watching one of my favorite TV shows from my youth. The show is Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman and it’s still one of the coolest things ever to come out of the 90′s. Shut-up. The 90′s were awesome. They’re still awesome. Leave me alone.

During the time the show was on the air, some significant changes were made to the series. I was curious why some of these changes were made and did a little research. What I found was all too typical.

Between the first and second season, the show runner was fired, because the network was worried about ratings. They let go one of the main actors (who would later star in a movie that I totally worked on) and replaced him with someone young looking, because they were concerned about getting ratings for young teenage girls. Because let’s be honest, the world’s economy revolves around teenage girls.

Immediately following these changes, the show’s ratings dropped dramatically. It wasn’t until the show returned to it’s original format that ratings improved.

The networks were of course, convinced that it was they who in fact had redeemed the show from the ashes. They decided to continue meddling trying to grasp those elusive ratings in the 8pm-9pm time slot.

First there would be a wedding. Then there wouldn’t be a wedding. Then the wedding was on. Then it wasn’t.

Viewers got annoyed. So much so that they started turning off their televisions (the faithful like myself remained).

And THIS people, is what happens when you let non-creative people take control of the creative process.

The network executives couldn’t figure it out. They had crunched so many numbers and appealed to so many demographics!

In the end, none of that mattered though. Because when none of the networks wanted to air the new Wonderful World of Disney reboot, Michael Eisner (CEO of Disney at the time) went out and bought ABC and cancelled Lois and Clark personally so that he could use the 8pm-9pm Sunday night time slot. You know, because network executives know better.

Thanks a lot Eisner. Way to wrap up a series and make the viewers happy.

Thank the heavens we now live in the days of the internet. In which content producers can create and publish directly over the web. Your days are numbered network executives. And your disservice to our favorite shows is at its end.

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It is no secret that I have a thing for Disney princesses. While most of these movies were probably designed to appeal to young girls with father issues, inspiring them to be true to themselves, forge their own path and make friends with animals, I embraced these movies for an entirely different reason: the women. I love those Disney princesses.

Each of them have a special place in my heart. I often like to think about which one of them would make an ideal wife. For example:

Princess Aurora (that’s Sleeping beauty for you non-princess aficionados) has that sweet innocence about her. Although to be fair, it’s probably pretty easy to be innocent when you live out in the forest with no one around but some bickering fairies and a lot of woodland creatures.

What about Cinderella? Man…that girl can cook, clean, sew…she does it all. That’s like, every man’s dream right there! Although…it’s a little weird that someone who is so OCD about cleanliness is fine with so many mice living in the house… I guess she never heard of the Black Plague…

How about Ariel, the little mermaid? I do like redheads… She seems a little young though…kind of immature… And talk about father issues! Also, I have to question the intelligence of someone who goes around pawning her voice off to sea witches, and thinks that’s a good idea…

Jasmine? No thanks. That girl is way too indignant. Way too spoiled. I mean, here her father is going to all kinds of trouble to find her a husband she might like. He brings in all these big shots, all these princes from all over. He’s giving his daughter every chance to find a decent guy, and all she does is complain about it. “Oh no! Another handsome rich guy likes me!! Woe is me!!” Can you imagine being married to her? “Take out the trash! By royal decree! I don’t want your Valentine’s presents! I am not some prize to be won! Don’t touch me, go jump off the balcony!” Nothing but trouble that girl. Even if she does have a great figure.

And then there’s Belle. Ahhh Belle…my perfect beauty. She really is the full package. She’s absolutely gorgeous, but she’s bright and educated too. She’s got a killer voice. She likes to read. She’s been taking care of her father for years so she’s great around the house. But she’s playful and fun and has a great arm, as evidenced by a snowball fight at the castle, so she could probably play on my softball team! I think I could probably even put her at third base. I mean, yeah the ball is a little more lively there, but I bet she could handle it… Ok…right about now is the point when I need to remind myself that I’m talking about an animated cartoon character. -sigh-

I suppose that the downside of any of these princesses is that they all went and got married to some charming future king of unknown region. Man…if only I could have been born a prince…

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