For the record: I love Transformers. I always have. I always will. But I’m not talking about the movies that came out recently. I’m talking about the 80′s. The real deal. I own all the original cartoons on DVD…twice. The 1987 Transformers movie was the stuff that dreams were made of, and starred Orson Welles in what would be his last performance. Transforming robots. That’s magic right there. But then came Michael Bay…

Michael Bay had a chance to do something awesome. But he didn’t. Instead he took what was probably the worst script of all time and made it even worse. I was a film major, so yeah, that’s right, I’m totally allowed to say this. Transformer fans everywhere cringed when he was named director, but even we didn’t know how bad these movies were going to be. And don’t go and tell me that they’re good. Don’t argue with me and say, “Oh, what are you talking about? That first one was great!” Because you know what? It wasn’t great. It was greatly awful. Forget that I’m a die hard child of the 80′s. From a film standpoint alone, it was awful. No character development. The transformers are secondary cast members. The deceptions don’t even HAVE characters, and when Jazz died, I didn’t care. I mean really! Jazz is supposed to be awesome, and I didn’t even care! Way to endear the characters to me Bay. Nice work. Oh and everyone knows that Jazz never died in the 80′s. Moron.

Michael Bay really ruined his chance to make an awesome live action Transformers movie…and in doing so, he collectively tore into the souls of Transformer fans everywhere and blew chunks on our childhood memories. No. I’m not even exaggerating a little. And if I ever see you on the street Michael Bay, I’ll probably punch you in the face…or at least call you an idiot.

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Ok. I know a lot of you are going to hate me after this. But I have a confession to make. I’ve read the Harry Potter books, and I’ve watched all the movies, and… -get ready for it- I think I might actually prefer the movies to the books. I know, I know, blasphemy you say. But I remember when I read the books, there were all these things that seems unnecessary as far as the story structure goes. Several times I remember thinking, “Man, I wish she’s just get on with the story instead of going off on this ‘house elf’ tangent.” Sometimes I honestly believed the author was just writing to try and fill pages to make the books longer.

Now, before you all leave my site and never come back, let me clarify by saying that I really did enjoy the books. I think the stories are great. I think the characters are great, and I think the author did a great job of strengthening the characters within the stories. I just think there’s an awful lot of unnecessary filler in there. Maybe it’s because I’m not really into the fantasy genre as a whole, and that’s kind of the style there.

Now when I watched the movies, I got really excited because they cut out a lot of the fat. The screenwriters cut out all those things that I wanted to cut out while reading the books. I thought they still stayed true to the stories (with just a few glaring omissions), and I felt the movies really kept the pace alive. I enjoy both. But the films have stuck with me much more.

It’s ironic really. Because I was out of the country for a couple years when Harry Potter mania stuck. At first I really avoided it altogether. I finally watched the first two movies at the request of a friend. I thought they were alright. And then some kids pushed me to read the books, which I also enjoyed. Then the movies grew up a little, and they really won me over. So yeah, there ya’ go. Don’t hate me for my opinion, but feel free to comment below.

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