Pockets. Pockets. Pockets.

Many years ago in the first grade, pockets were everything. Pockets were it. Pockets were what mattered. Let me explain.

At the beginning of every class our teacher Ms. Wiley, would place a large pile of magic beans on our desks. They were in fact, flat glass marbles, but for some reason I always preferred to call them magic beans. Because magic beans is a way cooler name than flattened marbles. Attributing some sort of mystical power to these little glass objects increased their value exponentially.

Once the beans were placed on our desk, we were instructed to place a marble into each of our pockets. Every pocket. Jean pockets. Coat pockets. Shirt pockets. Even hat pockets. Once we had proceeded to put a marble into every last pocket, the teacher would then instruct us to remove one. We would count. 1. Then she would tell us to remove another. 2. This would continue until all the marbles had been removed from all the pockets.

I suppose the point of this exercise was to teach us how to count. But none of us, including Ms. Wiley really cared about the counting. No no. It was all about who could have the most pockets. The competition was on.

At first the amount of pockets was pretty standard. The average was 4 pockets or so. Kids who wore jeans got that sneaky extra little pocket that hides inside its larger brother on the right thigh. Pretty soon kids were wearing jackets to school with extra pockets on the outside and in. The record number of pockets got higher and higher.

We began layering our clothes. Doing anything we could to get one more pocket above the competition. Hooded sweatshirts were worn under jackets. Pants with extra pockets on the legs suddenly appeared.

But it was all over when that one girl wore her special pocket jacket.

There was a girl who sat on the other side of the room. I cannot remember her name. We’ll call her Ralphina. Ralphina had this jacket with what seemed like a ka-zillion pockets. It was completely unfair. Some of us worked really really hard to come up with ways to scrounge out an extra pocket or two. But Ralphina didn’t have to. All she had to do was wear her special jacket.

You see during this particular era, at the height of their popularity was the exceptionally trendy: jean jacket. Yes, the denim jacket. So popular in its day. So ostracized after its fall. But one thing they didn’t lack, was pockets. I don’t know what it was about the 80′s but man did we sure have a thing for pockets.

The highest number of magic beans I was ever able to place in my pockets was 13. 13 pockets was the highest I was capable of. 5 in my jeans. 1 on the breast of a t-shirt that I hated but only wore for the pocket. 1 in a Stanford hooded sweatshirt that was handed down from my cousin. And 5 in my own jean jacket.

That was my record. It wasn’t the highest ever, but it was the best I was capable of. The pinnacle of my pocket planning plot.

Ralphina had 17.

SEVENTEEN POCKETS!!!

Who the HECK needs 17 pockets?!?!

After a while Ms. Wiley stopped having us place magic beans in our pockets. I suppose it’s possible that she had decided we had all adequately proved that we knew our numbers. But I don’t think that was the case. No one likes a blow out. I think she, like us, knew that the competition was over. Ralphina’s special jacket had won the day.

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Today we close the chapter on “Toasted” and Agent W’s exciting adventure. It was fun to do something a little different here with the comics than my standard format and I appreciate all my readers for indulging me as I tried something new and experimented a little with the comic strip. I hope you enjoyed seeing Raccoon Toons in a slightly different way. And if you did maybe we’ll see more of Agent W, Dr. Maybe, and Goldenpaw sometime in the future.

While today is the end of the massive March updates, you still have until the end of the 31st of this month to enter our contest for a chance to be drawn into a future comic strip. The winner will be randomly selected and announced shortly thereafter in April. Good luck! And thank you for reading!

~M

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Have you entered our contest yet?? Winner gets to be drawn into a future Raccoon Toons comic strip!! Make sure you follow ALL of the rules below and do it THIS month. (If you did it in Feb. it doesn’t count.) Good luck to all of you!!!

1. Like us (if you’re a facebook person). Or follow us on your favorite social media platform. Or subscribe to the site by RSS or email. If you’ve already done that, great. Now you get to go to step 2.

2. Share your favorite comic strip or post with your friends! Post it! You must do this during THIS month (March 2013). If you did it last month or last year it doesn’t count. Gotta be this month.

3. Tell me. Seriously. If you don’t leave a comment or email specifically telling me that you have entered the contest, you will not be entered. Also must be done this month.

4. Eat a cookie. You know the rules. There’s no getting past it.

So there you have it! Once you have accomplished ALL of these 4 steps during this month you will be entered into our contest for a chance to be cartoon-ified!

And once you’re cartoon-ified, I have you right where I want you.

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Happy Wednesday! In case you missed the news, Raccoon Toons is updating 4 days a week for the month of March!! Whoo!! We’re also holding our annual “Who Wants To Be In a Comic Strip?” contest! One lucky winner will be featured in an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip! You have until the end of the month to enter, but it only takes a minute or two, depending on how fast you can click your mouse. I know you’ve been working out those clicking muscles. I bet you can click so fast.

To enter simply:

1. Like or subscribe or follow or whatver.

2. Find your favorite comic strip, cartoon, or post and share it with your friends.

3. Leave a comment on the website or on one of our social media sites to tell me that you’ve shared your favorite.

4. Eat a cookie.

It’s so easy, even a small baby with internet access could do it! That is, assuming they have parent supervision. Because small babies shouldn’t be fiddling around on the internet without parent supervision. Seriously. What kind of a parent are you?? Gosh.

Now you know the rules. Enter. Go forth and conquer. And maybe you’ll be our next contest winner!

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For the month of March, Raccoon Toons will be updated FOUR days a week! Yes!! So be sure to check back frequently to get your fix of cartoon raccoons. Because raccoons + cartoons = awesome!”

Our “WWTBIACS?” contest is well under way! Do you want to be featured in an upcoming comic strip?? Stupid question. Of course you do. Enter our contest today and you could be our next winner!

To enter:

1.Like, follow, or subscribe.

2. Share your favorite.

3. Tell me you shared.

4. Eat a cookie.

SUPER easy. You could be our next winner! Official rules here. Good luck to you all.

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For some time I have been thinking about the post I would write with today’s comic strip. For weeks I have been formulating various thoughts in my mind, trying desperately to piece them together into some kind of written structure. So many different topics came forward: true friendship, inner beauty, social anxieties, objectification, self worth, etc.

I have since chosen not to supplement this comic strip with any further analyses or additional writing, but rather to let the comic strip speak for itself. I’ve decided that it’s probably worth more to the reader to interpret it as they wish and draw their own conclusions.

Although I usually fight the impulse, I have discovered that portions of my comic strip are, on occasion, somewhat personal. As I worked with this particular story line I found myself looking inward, observing many of the aspects and actions of my own life, and evaluating how I treat people. It has been a worthwhile experience for me, one that I hope will make me better.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Readers, you have only FOUR days left to enter the  “Who Wants to Be In a Comic Strip?” contest! The winner will be featured in an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip! Don’t wait! Enter today!

The post -sigh- appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Once upon a time, I dated a girl. She was quite attractive, despite the fact that I have since decided she was most assuredly the spawn of Satan.

At the time, men were constantly drooling over her and showering her with compliments of how attractive she was. One day while spending an afternoon together talking, she said something to me that I thought was very telling and which I have remembered to this day.

“I hate it when people tell me I’m pretty.”

Confused, I questioned why on earth she would refuse a compliment such as that.

“It’s just such a stupid compliment. ‘You’re pretty.’ It’s what you tell someone when you can’t think of anything else to say about them.”

As much as I hate to say it, Spawn of Satan had a point. When I looked at it that way, it really was kind of a hollow compliment, especially since it was so often cast about by men who were only interested in outward appearances and physical entanglements.

And yet I couldn’t help but feel like I was also one of those shallow men. Heck, I’m STILL one of those shallow men. Looks matter to me, and I was dating this girl in part, because she WAS pretty. It had been the first thing I noticed about her. It wasn’t the only reason why I liked her (hey, I’m not COMPLETELY shallow), but I couldn’t deny the fact that if she hadn’t been so pretty, chances are I wouldn’t have asked her out in the first place.

And so I resolved that I would try to compliment her on other more profound matters. I would prove to both of us that I didn’t just want her for her looks, and she would see how different and non-shallow I was compared to all the other men chasing her. I resolved not to call her “pretty.”

Oddly enough, she dumped me just a short time later. Girls…they’ll really mess with your head.

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e·piph·a·ny [ih-pif-uh-nee]

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Who are your friends? Your true friends? People you can really count on through thick and thin? Maybe I use the term too narrowly, but in my own mind I’m pretty selective about who I consider to be my “true friends.” It isn’t that I don’t like a lot of the people that I associate with. There are lots of great people in my life. It’s just that for me, it takes a real bond of loyalty and trust for me to consider someone a “true” friend. And I don’t just throw that moniker around carelessly. True friendship is earned, endures through the ages, and is not cast aside by the changes we encounter in life.

So maybe by my definition I don’t have a lot of “true friends.” But the ones I do have, are there forever.

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I have discovered that I am becoming less and less of an extrovert as I become older. Perhaps maturity brings with it less of a need to be “cool” and fit in. Maybe I don’t have the time I once had to devote to being popular and extroverted. Or maybe I’m just being lazy.

Young Matt would not have put up with this. Young Matt would see to it that he was out every weekend doing something all crazy and extroverted-like. Young Matt would climb the social ladder with all the cool kids. Of course, young Matt would also [allegedly] break into schools to move desks around…so maybe young Matt wasn’t all that bright…

I will say this. I miss young Matt sometimes. That guy does whatever the heck he wants, whenever he wants. He never takes “no” for an answer. He dreams big, and somehow accomplishes it. That guy can do anything.

Somewhat older Matt  has gotten really good at sitting in office chairs and playing “Words With Friends.” I don’t know how it happened. Somewhere along the lines I started “growing up” and everything became a lot more complicated and boring. I can’t even remember the last time I got sent to the Dean’s office or stuck a bunch of plastic forks in someone’s lawn. What the heck man? What the heck.

As you may remember, I chose not to make a New Year’s resolution this year. But if I had, it would be to find wherever young Matt is hiding, and let him out to play more often. I think I could learn a thing or two from him.

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“Your boyfriend is such a tool. Seriously. Just look at the guy. That stupid face. That stupid hair. I bet he pops up the collars on his polo shirts. Who does he think he is? Anyone with half a brain can see that the guy is a total tool. But then I guess you don’t have half a brain do you? I mean, if you did you OBVIOUSLY wouldn’t be dating him. Man…I can’t believe I was such good friends with that guy before he started dating you. It’s so weird that I had no idea he was such a tool until now…

“We’re all probably better off now that you’ve both removed yourselves from the dating pool, at least until one of you gets tired of blank stares and moronic conversation. You two really deserve each other. So yeah. Enjoy your tool boyfriend you ditsy brain dead twit.

“And…call me if you break up any time soon…”

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