Raccoon Toons enjoys a nice summer vacation up at the lake.

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Michael, Wendy, and Matt begin their travels to a favorite summer vacation spot.

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-sniff- The summer has come to its end. My heart is deeply saddened by the loss of another summer. Our time together was much too short. I will miss you summer.

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I’m on vacation this week, but here is some awesome guest art brought to you by Eddie Guo from YK Pao school in Shanghai China. Eddie loves Raccoon Toons, and is a really talented artist. Thanks for the picture Eddie!

I’ll be back from vacation next week!

~Matt

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I’m on vacation!!!!! Back next week!!!!

~Matt

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This was a fun one to make. And I didn’t even plan it. Sometimes when you’ve written for characters long enough, they start to write themselves. This is one of those strips that the characters wrote themselves. Took me by surprise as well.

But what does it mean?!? Are Michael and Wendy back together? Is the chase finally over? And what about everybody’s favorite delivery man?? So many questions left unanswered… I guess you’ll just have to come back and read my work everyday for the rest of our lives, while throwing money in my direction to support your need for closure. Yeah. That’s a good plan. Let’s go with that.

…………………………..

Don’t forget to enter the drawing for your chance to be drawn into an upcoming comic strip! It’s easy, free, and only takes a few seconds of your time!

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I’m stuck. I’m totally stuck. Not only is my future devoid of any kind of plan, but I can’t even think of anything clever or satirical to write under this comic strip. So I’m stuck in both the literal and the philosophical sense. I’m doubly stuck. Like a dinosaur caught in one of the La Brea Tar Pits while suffering a mid-life crisis. That’s me. Stuck-o-saurus  Rex. Someday people will find my bones and put me on display in a museum somewhere. But they’ll probably put the wrong skull on my body and then they’ll have to change my name later on when they realize I’m a completely different kind of Stuckeosaur. That would just be my kind of luck.

……………..

You still have a chance to be featured in an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip! The official rules are here, but it’s really very simple:

1. Like the site.

2. Share your favorite comic strip from the site with people who are awesome.

3. Tell me you shared.

4. Cookie.

SO easy!! Make sure you leave a comment somewhere, send me an email (matt at raccoontoons.com), or let me know SOMEHOW how you shared or I won’t know to enter you into the drawing. One lucky winner will be selected at random and they WILL be drawn into an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip! You have until 12:29 am (California time) on February 1st. Good luck.

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Ok, I broke the 4th wall. I’m sorry. But I had good reason.

When I was a kid I read possibly every book there is to read about Walt Disney. Once in jr. high school, I even chose Walt Disney for my autobiography book report. The book, was in fact, not an autobiography, and I didn’t actually read it because I forgot about the assignment and the in-class essay until the night before. I ended up just writing the essay using only the knowledge I’d acquired about Walt Disney over the years without ever actually having read this particular autobiography…which again, wasn’t really an autobiography at all. Where I was required to use quotations I quoted or paraphrased actual quotes that I had previously committed to memory.

When all was said and done, I earned a “B+” on this paper on a book that was not only invalid for the assignment, but also one that I had never actually read. It was ironically, the highest grade I ever received from that particular English teacher, who for some inexplicable reason, just really hated my guts.

But I digress. My point is, I have always really loved and admired Walt Disney. In the 4th grade I did a report on him and dressed up in a suit and fake mustache. My report included posters with drawings of Mickey Mouse that I had made to illustrate the difference between how he looked in the first Mickey Mouse cartoon in 1928 (which by the way was Plane Crazy, and NOT Steamboat Willie thank you very much).

I think I let the fake mustache get to me, because it wasn’t long afterwards that I decided I really wanted to BE Walt Disney. That was my dream. I had great ambitions as a 4th grader. It was shortly after this that I created my very own cartoon characters. You know them here, as Michael and Wendy Raccoon.

It was my plan to do as Walt did, and create animated cartoons that surely the world would embrace as they did Mickey. Shortly thereafter, I would branch my newfound and lucrative stardom into my own animation studio just as Disney did. Then I would continue to build until my work was all over the movies and TV stations on Saturday mornings (because back then all the good cartoons were on Saturday mornings). Then, to complete my raging success, I would build my own theme park somewhere in California. There my raccoon characters would greet all of their adoring fans that would come from all over the world just to see them.

Somewhere along the lines I grew up a little, and realized that no one would ever repeat the talent, the entrepreneurship, and the lucky timing with technology to equal Walt Disney. So naturally I decided that I would just have to get Disney to distribute my cartoons, so that my characters could greet their adoring fans at Disneyland. It all seemed like a good plan.

And so here today, I have this little comic strip. The dream of a 10 year old boy. Forgive me if indulge him ever so slightly. The truth is, the older I get, the more I think I had it right in the 4th grade.

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It is no secret that I have a thing for Disney princesses. While most of these movies were probably designed to appeal to young girls with father issues, inspiring them to be true to themselves, forge their own path and make friends with animals, I embraced these movies for an entirely different reason: the women. I love those Disney princesses.

Each of them have a special place in my heart. I often like to think about which one of them would make an ideal wife. For example:

Princess Aurora (that’s Sleeping beauty for you non-princess aficionados) has that sweet innocence about her. Although to be fair, it’s probably pretty easy to be innocent when you live out in the forest with no one around but some bickering fairies and a lot of woodland creatures.

What about Cinderella? Man…that girl can cook, clean, sew…she does it all. That’s like, every man’s dream right there! Although…it’s a little weird that someone who is so OCD about cleanliness is fine with so many mice living in the house… I guess she never heard of the Black Plague…

How about Ariel, the little mermaid? I do like redheads… She seems a little young though…kind of immature… And talk about father issues! Also, I have to question the intelligence of someone who goes around pawning her voice off to sea witches, and thinks that’s a good idea…

Jasmine? No thanks. That girl is way too indignant. Way too spoiled. I mean, here her father is going to all kinds of trouble to find her a husband she might like. He brings in all these big shots, all these princes from all over. He’s giving his daughter every chance to find a decent guy, and all she does is complain about it. “Oh no! Another handsome rich guy likes me!! Woe is me!!” Can you imagine being married to her? “Take out the trash! By royal decree! I don’t want your Valentine’s presents! I am not some prize to be won! Don’t touch me, go jump off the balcony!” Nothing but trouble that girl. Even if she does have a great figure.

And then there’s Belle. Ahhh Belle…my perfect beauty. She really is the full package. She’s absolutely gorgeous, but she’s bright and educated too. She’s got a killer voice. She likes to read. She’s been taking care of her father for years so she’s great around the house. But she’s playful and fun and has a great arm, as evidenced by a snowball fight at the castle, so she could probably play on my softball team! I think I could probably even put her at third base. I mean, yeah the ball is a little more lively there, but I bet she could handle it… Ok…right about now is the point when I need to remind myself that I’m talking about an animated cartoon character. -sigh-

I suppose that the downside of any of these princesses is that they all went and got married to some charming future king of unknown region. Man…if only I could have been born a prince…

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I’m about to tell you a story. It’s a throwing up story, so you are officially forewarned.

Once a group of high school students including myself were going up to the hills to camp. On the way, we decided to stop at a popular restaurant that I may or may not have worked at at some point in my life. Y’know, one of those places that has one of those catchy jingles about baby back ribs (which oddly enough, I cannot find an original video of anywhere in internet land). I, being the well-prepared forward thinker that I am, already ate before we went to the restaurant, so I opted to order just a soda. Then I noticed the price. $1.29?!?! For a soda?!?!  For a substance I knew to be no more than mere water and sugar?!?! Outrage!!! It was then that my moral indignation took over, and I decided it was my obligation as an American, to get my money’s worth of soda.

The restaurant, while charging a ludicrous amount for sugar-water, offered free refills. You can see where this is going…

17 glasses of soda later, we were in the car driving up into the mountains. On a curvy, winding road. 17 sodas…windy road… Yeah. I started feeling sick about 30 minutes up the mountain. I rolled down the window to get some air. It was a good thing I did. The next thing I knew, there was a cascade of Sprite flowing from the back seat, out the window, and onto the road behind us. The other car in our caravan stared with utter amazement.

I scurried out of the car and stood by the side of the road where liquid soda spewed from my innards like a waterfall down the mountain. I stood for a good 5 minutes straight, blown away by how my stomach was behaving like a water pump, shooting soda out of my mouth in a constant horizontal stream. Honestly, it was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever been a witness to.

When it was all over, I returned to the car and my newfound celebrity status, and we continued to our camp. I was however…disappointed that I had at this point, wasted $1.29.

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