Sometimes I wish life was a movie. Think about it. I could get my copy of the screenplay and play my part accordingly. It would make acting the part of my character so much easier. I wouldn’t have to fear social situations or have any anxieties in life because I’m acting. It’s easy to be the super cool successful guy when someone writes the part for you. Plus I know that everything will work out because I’m the main guy in the story. Things are supposed to work out for me. And everyone knows the main guy always has a happy ending in his movie.

Wait…but what if I’m not the main guy?? What if I’m the plucky sidekick or the comedy relief…or…what if I’m just a bit part on some background shot?!?!?!

I need to have a serious discussion with the writers.

The post Play The Part appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Keep playing your drums. The music will follow.

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We have a contest winner! Last month we had our “Who Wants to Be In a Comic Strip?” contest, and many of you shared your favorite comic strip and entered! I wish I could draw everyone into the comic strip all the time. You guys are the coolest.

This year’s winner is………………………… (drum roll)………………………..

Devin Burgraff of Salt Lake City, Utah!

Congratulations Devin! You will be featured in a future Raccoon Toons comic strip!

Thanks to all who entered and participated! Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for reading me.

~Matt

The post Bang Your Drum appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

I’m not picky. Everyone says I’m picky. I’m not. I’m not picky. I’m selective. It’s totally not the same thing. At all.

But honestly even if I WAS picky, is that such a bad thing? In a world where serious and committed relationships often end in heartbreak or disaster, shouldn’t I be a little selective? Shouldn’t I wait for something or someone who makes sense and feels right and shares my [baseball] values? Shouldn’t I hold out for surety and that feeling that makes woodland creatures go all crazy mushy like? Shouldn’t we all be sure about the kind of person we want to raise little baseball-loving babies with??

I mean, we’re all totally different people. We aren’t all the same. We can’t just “pick a horse” and hope to get lucky (so to speak). I can’t just marry the first baseball loving singer/actress/PHD graduate/part time swimsuit model who comes along! That would be sheer lunacy! What if she didn’t like raccoons?? Or cartoons?? Or raccoon cartoons??!? See?!? One has to consider these things! That could have ended in disaster! -Whew- Dodged a bullet there.

Being selective: it’s important.

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For some time I have been thinking about the post I would write with today’s comic strip. For weeks I have been formulating various thoughts in my mind, trying desperately to piece them together into some kind of written structure. So many different topics came forward: true friendship, inner beauty, social anxieties, objectification, self worth, etc.

I have since chosen not to supplement this comic strip with any further analyses or additional writing, but rather to let the comic strip speak for itself. I’ve decided that it’s probably worth more to the reader to interpret it as they wish and draw their own conclusions.

Although I usually fight the impulse, I have discovered that portions of my comic strip are, on occasion, somewhat personal. As I worked with this particular story line I found myself looking inward, observing many of the aspects and actions of my own life, and evaluating how I treat people. It has been a worthwhile experience for me, one that I hope will make me better.

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Readers, you have only FOUR days left to enter the  “Who Wants to Be In a Comic Strip?” contest! The winner will be featured in an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip! Don’t wait! Enter today!

The post -sigh- appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

I have discovered that I am becoming less and less of an extrovert as I become older. Perhaps maturity brings with it less of a need to be “cool” and fit in. Maybe I don’t have the time I once had to devote to being popular and extroverted. Or maybe I’m just being lazy.

Young Matt would not have put up with this. Young Matt would see to it that he was out every weekend doing something all crazy and extroverted-like. Young Matt would climb the social ladder with all the cool kids. Of course, young Matt would also [allegedly] break into schools to move desks around…so maybe young Matt wasn’t all that bright…

I will say this. I miss young Matt sometimes. That guy does whatever the heck he wants, whenever he wants. He never takes “no” for an answer. He dreams big, and somehow accomplishes it. That guy can do anything.

Somewhat older Matt  has gotten really good at sitting in office chairs and playing “Words With Friends.” I don’t know how it happened. Somewhere along the lines I started “growing up” and everything became a lot more complicated and boring. I can’t even remember the last time I got sent to the Dean’s office or stuck a bunch of plastic forks in someone’s lawn. What the heck man? What the heck.

As you may remember, I chose not to make a New Year’s resolution this year. But if I had, it would be to find wherever young Matt is hiding, and let him out to play more often. I think I could learn a thing or two from him.

The post Extrovert appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

I swear I was cool once. Honest. I wouldn’t lie about something like that. I really was cool once. I’m not exactly sure what caused my eventual decline from “Joe Cool” to “Joe Shmoe,” but somewhere along the line I seem to have dropped a few levels on the veritable guitar amp of coolness.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten older. Or maybe it’s because cartoons seemingly aren’t as cool in my current demographic as they once were in an earlier and simpler time.  Or maybe I’m still every bit as cool as I used to be and YOU’RE the one that’s changed. Yeah. That must be it. What happened man? You used to be cool. You’ve changed, man. You’ve changed.

Regardless, I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that I am just not as cool as I used to be. It isn’t so bad really. I can still sport awesome shoes and a perfectly quaffed head of hair. I can still woo the ladies with my eloquent charm. I can still invoke the coolness of the Fonz by wearing leather jackets and going “heeeeeeeeeeey!” I can certainly still win “Guess Who?” board game tournaments year after year. And hey, if that isn’t cool, I don’t know what is.

So maybe I’m not as cool as I used to be. Maybe my amps no longer play at 11. But they still play, man. They still play.

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You know what’s REALLY cool?? Being featured in a Raccoon Toons comic strip! If you’d like the chance to be drawn into a future comic strip enter our “Who Wants to Be In a Comic Strip?” contest! It’s easy! It’s free! Just follow these simple steps:

1. Like, follow, or subscribe

2. Share your favorite comic strip or post with your friends

3. Tell me how you shared

4. Eat a cookie

That’s it!! It’s SO easy!! One lucky winner will be chosen at random to be featured into an upcoming Raccoon Toons comic strip!! You have until the end of January to enter!! Don’t wait!

The post I Was Cool Once appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Is it just me, or is Halloween becoming less of a holiday for the kids, and more of a holiday for scantily clad sorority girls? I’m not going to turn this into a rant about current trends in women’s costumes. But I will say this: Underwear ≠ Costume. I mean seriously. I’m as attracted to beautiful women as the next guy, but that’s just not very creative. C’mon girls, you can do better.

But let’s be honest and realistic here. When you dress like a dumb floozy*, I’m going to assume you’re a dumb floozy. And when you walk around in your underwear and think it qualifies as a costume, I don’t just think you’re a dumb floozy, I know you’re a dumb floozy.

What on earth could you possibly be dressing “up” as when you’re practically naked? I suppose it’s possible that in this scenario your Halloween costume is in fact, a dumb floozy…but if that’s the case…you really aren’t just pretending…

* (The word “floozy” was substituted for a number of other possible less kid-friendly choices. Take your pick.)

The post Costume? appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

Do women actually do this? Do they keep guys around to make other guys jealous? I don’t really know. Someone please enlighten me.

The post Jealous appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

One night several years ago, I went to a hockey game with some friends of mine. While we were there, a blond that knew my friend sat down to visit with us. She had long blond hair and a big set of eyes that kept staring at me as I talked. At first I thought I was really being really suave. In only a few seconds of meeting this girl I already had her hanging on my word and playfully hitting my arm! She started flashing all the signals she could that suggested that she was interested in more than just my knowledge of collegiate ice hockey.

Not long had passed however, before I started to notice some odd behavior from this girl. First of all, she appeared to have the attention span of a gnat. Her eyes flickered around the hockey rink while her head bobbed around doing that thing that dogs do when they think they hear something way off in the distance.

She also seemed to have no sense of continuity. One minute she’s be talking to her friend sitting beside her, and then it mid sentence she’s turn to me and ask me the capitol of Delaware, while simultaneously turning to my friend and asking her where she bought her classy belt. Although, in her defense, it was a pretty sweet belt.

But the thing I remember most, was the way she responded to me. I had never met this girl before in my life. But she would sit there and stare at me like we were long lost lovers. In passing I made some clever remark that I’m sure wasn’t terribly funny. I don’t remember what it was, but I’m sure it was something ridiculously lame.

“Hey, you know why ice is so cold?”

“No, why?”

“Because it’s frozen.”

Whatever I said it was something stupid. But apparently she found it to be the funniest thing she’d ever heard. She erupted in laughter. She placed her hand on my shoulder for flirtatious support as she proceeded to cackle into the night, her bellowing guffaws echoing across the hockey rink. People around us started to look at me. I’m sure they must’ve thought I was the funniest man alive. A comic celebrity in their midst, taking in a night of ice hockey. The blond continued to laugh uncontrollably while she gasped between breaths, “You’re so FUNNY!”

I sat there and looked at this woman as she laughed while keeled over and latched on to my shoulder. I looked around the seating at various people in attendance. I looked at my friend and her classy belt. To this day, I remember the moment and my inner monologue so very clearly. As I looked at the gasping blond before me, struggling for breath because of my hilarity I thought to myself, “Matt…there is no way, you are this funny.”

Turned out I was right. The blond didn’t sit by us for too long. She spent most of the hockey game going from one guy’s shoulder to the next. I smiled when she made it all the way to the opposite side of the rink by the third period. For her, the game was in the stands.

The post So Funny appeared first on Raccoon Toons.

I have skinny legs. I’m working on it.

The post I Have Skinny Legs appeared first on Raccoon Toons.