Raccoon Toons

I have some terrible, terrible news. It’s going to hurt when I tell you. You had better brace yourself. You might want to sit down.

As it turns out, life isn’t always fair. Whoa. Hey now. Don’t get mad at me! Believe me, this came as a shock to me too. As it turns out, life doesn’t always turn out fair, and it isn’t always like the movies. I know how you must feel. I was deceived too. I really thought that at any given moment the 2nd or 3rd acts were going to kick in and I was going to somehow get that lucky break and have success fall right into my lap, while both winning the girl and giving the haters their comeuppance. But somehow, life hasn’t played out like the movies. Maybe it’s because I don’t live in a big city with a strange and impossible, yet somehow sustainable method of earning an income. Maybe it’s because I’m not having NEARLY enough “meet-cutes.” Or maybe it’s because  my odd and/or plucky yet endearing side-kick-friends are not providing enough comic relief. I’m not exactly sure. I need a script doctor.

Regardless, it would appear that the movies have lied to us. The movies are not real life. Such injustice! Great. Now what are we supposed to do?? If this isn’t a movie, than there’s no script for us to follow. And now I’m left without any idea of what’s supposed to happen next. I can’t tell if this is a comedy, or a drama, or romantic chick flick. It’s certainly not an action movie…at least not yet… Maybe aliens will show up tomorrow and then I can go all unassuming hero on them. Yeah. That’s probably it. It must be. We’re just still doing backstory… Now it all makes sense.

-Whew- For a minute there I thought this wasn’t a movie. What a relief.