Yes. There actually IS a “Golden Toaster of Toastisity.” It’s here on my bookshelf. And it is glorious. It was prepared for a noble and marvelous mission of sorts. But the mission was scrapped due to weather conditions, and due to the fact that it probably isn’t a good idea to have people dressed in military garb on some random elementary school campus. I’m willing to say now that it was probably the right call. As a result I’m afraid the Golden Toaster of Toastisity never got its time in the field. So sad. Maybe someday.
Now there WAS a mission with a golden toilet seat…but that was an entirely different operation.