I think all those villains in those movies are given a bad wrap. I mean honestly. Take a good look at them. Open your mind. These guys are brilliant. Sheer geniuses. They always have these crazy elaborate creative schemes to take over the world, and you got to hand it to them– the creative minds that inspired these complex ascents to grandeur are truly something to behold. It’s really something. Whether it’s a dastardly plan to smuggle artifacts and fund your fiendish crime organization, or simply a clever invention made to enable you to rule the tri-state area, you can’t plan for success without an elaborate and sometimes confusing master plan.
I feel for those guys. They spend countless days and months plotting their path to victory, only to have their well dressed super-spy nemesis arrive in the nick of time to ruin everything. And then they have to start ALL over! Why can’t they just let him reach his goals of world domination?? I mean, maybe we’ll like having a great and all-powerful ruler.
But what always gets me is that they can’t resist telling all the details of their entire operation the moment the good guy arrives. I mean it’s stupid really. Don’t you realize this guy is there to thwart you?!?! Don’t tell him EXACTLY how to stop your fiendish plans! At least TRY and be a little subtle about it! Is the plan just so good that you can’t resist sharing it with every British guy in a tux that breaks in and hits on every one of the ladies in your super-secret bad-guy lair?!?!
I think these villainous masterminds are all probably misunderstood. They probably just want a friend to come over and hang out with them. Y’know, maybe play some video games…jump on the trampoline…that sort of thing. But they’re probably too scared to just invite people over. I mean what if no one can come?? What if everyone is busy?? Who wants to deal with that kind of rejection?? So they develop these big fancy schemes to take over the world, and sure enough, the good guy jets right over without a moment’s delay. It’s brilliant really.
“What’s that you say? You can’t come to my super-secret bad-guy lair housewarming party because you have to work? You’re too busy protecting the free world from evil? Oh. Well you’re in luck! As it just so happens…”
See? These villains aren’t so bad. They just want some company. And maybe their own private island.
Ha! This is truly greatly. I never would have thought of a villain as as misunderstood and wanting friends. It all makes sense now….
“Curse you Perry the Platypus!”