Ah the joys of office work. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. In fact, a lot of you are there right now. At this very moment. Clinging desperately to this distraction and any other you can find before you return with sorrow to your world of absolute mind-numbing labor and tedious job descriptions. And you sit there and wonder…why on earth did you need an expensive college degree to qualify you to sit in a monochrome office on your duff all day long while you get older and fatter?

Yup. I’ve been there. And I feel your pain.

I’ve had the job where I sit at a desk and push the same buttons over and over again. I’ve been the guy who sits and watches the clock anxiously while waiting for other people to go home so I’m not the first person to leave the office. And you know what?? They never go home. They never go home! WHY WON’T THEY EVER JUST GO HOME?!?!

Ok. Breath. We’re ok.

I don’t mean to depress you. I just want you to know that I’m behind you. A large portion of my readers visit my site from their office jobs. And so in some small way, I feel that they come to me to keep them sane in a world of spreadsheets, paper jams, and that guy who talks really loud whenever he answers a phone call.

I salute you. You, the white-collared workers who painstakingly endure yet another torturous day at the office. You are the glue that holds society together. The backbone of our fragile economy. And…you also happen to be the spike in my website traffic every week…

And so, I feel responsible for your well being. It’s up to me. It is my solemn duty to prevent you from snapping in your cubicle and burning down your office in a frenzy of complete and utter madness. Lose yourself in a world of raccoon cartoons, and snarky and opinionated writings. I will talk you down. You can depend on me. I will get you through another few minutes of your otherwise monotonousness existence. Come with me if you want to live.