It’s flu season folks. Let’s stay healthy. For your general well being, I have prepared a handy list of instructions that will help you stay healthy this winter season.
1. Go to sleep. I’m not sure why, but every night around 12:00 am I kind of get tired. It’s so weird. It’s almost as if my mind and body had been up all day and was suddenly in need of sleep at certain late hours of the evening. I’ve learned not to fight it. Apparently sleep helps you stay healthy. This further supports my belief that anyone who wakes up before 8am is INSANE. That’s just not right man. Not right at all. Get some sleep people, the internet told you so. You’re welcome.
2. Eat food. Apparently along with this whole sleeping thing, is an eating food thing. Apparently, our bodies need to consume foods to continue living. I feel like I should have learned this in science class somewhere, but to be fair, I was drawing cartoons most of the time. Anyway, eat food, the internet told you to. Again, you’re welcome.
3. Wash your hands. Please for the love of all that is right in the world, wash your hands. Don’t be the smelly roommate who doesn’t wash his hands after he poops and then goes and eats his Taco Bell that’s been sitting out on the counter for a couple of days. Don’t do it. I know you’re tempted, but please don’t do it. You’ll thank me later. The world will thank me later.
4. Avoid that kid with the drippy runny nose and cough. Sometimes it can’t be avoided, I know. Sometimes you’re quietly minding your own business when all of a sudden they strike in a barrage of snot-nosed eruptions. But this can go a long way in your overall health this season. Do whatever it takes. Don’t let the Johnson kid cough on you. I can’t emphasize this enough. He’ll get you every time.
5. Doctors. My lawyers tell me that I should NOT tell you to skip seeing the doctors. Hey whatever. If you want to go sit in a room full of MORE snot-nosed sick people and sit in a stuffy room for a few hours so a guy in a lab coat can look at you and say “yup…you’re sick…you should probably stay in bed.” then by all means, go right ahead. You’ll be billed accordingly.
Follow these critical steps and you might just manage to stay healthy this winter. If you do get sick you’re likely to end up in bed for a few days. Fortunately for you, there are websites like this to help you pass the time.