The other day I was sitting at a desk I’ve been working at as of late, when I noticed one of those Magic 8-Ball things. Only this one was yellow and had a smiley face on it. I figured it was some sort of positively-influenced brand of Magic 8-ball, so I thought this would be my chance to get a ridiculously positive response in regard to my fortunes.

I uttered my question quietly so that others in the office wouldn’t hear.

“Magic Smiley-faced 8-Ball…will I ever find love?”

I shook the ball and turned it over to reveal the long awaited answer I’ve been waiting for:

“Have you lost weight?”

 

…thanks a lot 8-Ball. That was a lot of help.