You may think that you have no control over the outcome of a game while you sit at home on your couch watching the broadcast on TV, but you’d be WRONG. So very wrong. Real sports fans know that there are all kinds of little superstitions that can make or break the game.
For example: I am very aware that one’s wardrobe can make a great deal of difference. You should not, wear any colors of the opposing team on any given game day. Doing so would put the outcome of the game at risk. Don’t tempt fate my friend. I don’t care how good you look in blue…when the Dodgers come to town, you leave that shirt in the closet.
The outcome of games does not hinge only upon wardrobe either. If your friend comes over and sits down on your couch and all of a sudden your team scores 5 runs in the bottom of the 6th inning to tie the game, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES do ANY of you leave your seats. Not even for a moment or a trip to the bathroom. You might completely throw off the delicate balance of karma. Don’t risk it man. Don’t risk it.
Lastly, as I have discovered as of late, it TOTALLY matters which urinal you use on your way into the ballpark. That might be way more information than you wanted to know, but I felt it was critical that I get this information to the masses. You’re welcome.