One of my biggest annoyances in life are people who can’t keep their commitments. The unexplained no-show, more commonly known as “the flake.”

They waste our time. We sit and wonder whether or not they will actually for just once in their life make good on the pre-arranged plan. But they never do. And we end up frustrated and angry that we were convinced once again when they “promised” this time would be different. They are a bloodsucking leech on the time of all of society.

Once upon a time I dated a girl who was a flake. A notorious flake. But she had the cutest dimples. We had made plans one evening to go out, I can’t recall to where, but I may or may not have promised hand-holding and/or cuddling. On the day of the date however I had not heard from her. All my efforts to contact her were made in vain. She had fallen off the proverbial map.

Annoyed that my evening had been wasted, and that my hair looked exceptionally awesome for no particular reason, I resolved not to ask her out again. If she couldn’t even grant me the courtesy of a phone call, or even a text message telling me she couldn’t make our plans, then obviously this was her way of telling me that she was no longer interested in ridiculously charming and incredibly athletic cartoonists. Fine. Whatever. So be it.

I heard from her a few days later. I was given some excuse about work (which I never really believed), and a halfhearted apology. Then to my surprise she asked, “So, when are you going to ask me out again?” Yeah. Right. Like I was going to fall for that again. Like I was just going to forget the annoyance and frustration she had caused. Like I was going to forget the time wasted in preparing for an evening that never was. My hair doesn’t just do this on its own you know!

 

…I asked her out again. She really did have the cutest dimples.

 

And of course, she flaked. Again. Shame on me.